I often miss living in New York, particularly in the spring. Fortunately, thanks to Overheard In New York, I can pretend that it's me overhearing edifying conversations like this one, which apparently took place in February outside a market in Bensonhurst, when a hapless Russian man made the mistake of blocking the doorway:
American woman: Excuse me.It's not just dilatory Russian lemon-pickers who are driving New Yorkers into Vesuvian outbursts of profanity. An Angry Guy from Borough Park was recently overheard delivering this amazing piece of denial and denunciation:
Russian man: I'm picking my lemons.
American woman: Whadya want us all to do, play leapfrog over you? Move it please.
Russian man: You're stupid.
American woman: Stupid? I got one word for you. Chernobyl! How's that for stupid? Bet you were working there, you fucking asshole. Now move it, you fuckin' retard!
Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck 'em all.You can spend hours on this site very easily. And you'd probably better, just in case a friendly New Yorker suggests a trip to "Germany," or offers you "the Golden Ticket to the chocolate factory."