Fake Orgasms

The comparatively affordable whore Maggie Gallagher suggests that we celebrate the elections in Iraq by taking a moment away from

the narrow, dark, arrow-slinging, testosterone-fueled world of partisans ceaselessly jousting at each other for minor political advantage.

Not one to follow her own advice, the irrepressible Ms. Gallagher immediately takes a reflexive swipe at the anti-invasion naysayers of "Old Europe," and by implication, at those of us who agree with them that the war was illegal, cruel, and catastrophic.

In the course of her addled, bad-faith ruminations, Ms. Gallagher sees fit to explain democracy to her worthy constituents:

What is democracy, and why is it worth dying for? In part, it's a commitment by a people to resolve a nation's internal disputes amicably, without recourse to violence. Because the next election is just around the corner, powerful elites agree to surrender power in an orderly way, and on a regular basis, in accordance with fixed rules.

Very decent of them, too. But I'm not sure that's precisely what's happening in Iraq. Indeed, Ms. Gallagher's own article suggests it's not:

"People have been thirsting for these elections, as if it was a wedding," Akil Muslim told The New York Times. "Najaf is considered the capital of the Shiites, and because they were oppressed under the old regime, they're turning out for the elections."

Only in the Republican stronghold of Candyland would the Shiite thirst for revenge be seen as glad tidings. The only way the elections could be considered a success is if they led to a unified Iraq, in which political differences truly were settled at the ballot box. But the hostilities between the Shiites, Sunnis, and Kurds can't be compared to the hostilities between Republicans and Democrats, and there's no reason to believe that the Sunnis or the Kurds will wait "amicably" for their place in the sun.

Ms. Gallagher continues:

Today is a day to pause and be proud: proud of being an American, proud of belonging to a country that can dream such dreams, give such an extraordinary gift.

This is the political whore's equivalent of fake orgasms. The facts are these: The invasion of Iraq was a crime under international and domestic law, and it was accomplished through a coordinated campaign of lies, treachery, fearmongering, and bullying. The "dreams" involved were dreams of avarice and empire...the sort of dreams peculiar to evil, hollow people. The "gift" of this election happened as it did only because Sistani put tens of thousands of Shiites in the streets to demand it; BushCo erected any number of roadblocks before it gave in.

It's easy to see why Ms. Gallagher doesn't command higher prices.