Monday, October 18, 2004

Alan Keyes is Making Money Illegally

In these troubled times, we must gather rosebuds where we may...and to this sad-eyed waif, few things are more cheering than Alan Keyes' slow-motion mental breakdown, and the garish language in which he and his creatures proclaim it to an astonished world. Get this, friends:

The FEC found that Keyes took excessive contributions when he sought the Republican presidential nomination in 2000. It ordered him to pay a fine and repay the government $95,302 in public funding that his campaign accepted.


Also Thursday, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington filed an FEC complaint alleging that Keyes current Senate campaign had improperly coordinated with a group running ads that target his opponent, Democrat Barack Obama.

Keyes campaign manager Bill Pascoe dismissed the accusation as "poppycock," saying "To suggest otherwise is to treat the truth as a harlot."
I love the idea of Keyes coming up with that line, and sending Pascoe out to deliver it. I also love the fact that this page about Keyes' financial shenanigans includes an ad for his campaign, advising readers to "send a real conservative to the Senate." Let's see...he's crazier than a shithouse rat, he's prone to florid psychosexual delusions, he steals money and breaks laws, and he's completely without shame. Yep, he's a real conservative!

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