Alan Keyes is Making Money Illegally

In these troubled times, we must gather rosebuds where we may...and to this sad-eyed waif, few things are more cheering than Alan Keyes' slow-motion mental breakdown, and the garish language in which he and his creatures proclaim it to an astonished world. Get this, friends:

The FEC found that Keyes took excessive contributions when he sought the Republican presidential nomination in 2000. It ordered him to pay a fine and repay the government $95,302 in public funding that his campaign accepted.

[snip]

Also Thursday, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington filed an FEC complaint alleging that Keyes current Senate campaign had improperly coordinated with a group running ads that target his opponent, Democrat Barack Obama.

Keyes campaign manager Bill Pascoe dismissed the accusation as "poppycock," saying "To suggest otherwise is to treat the truth as a harlot."

I love the idea of Keyes coming up with that line, and sending Pascoe out to deliver it. I also love the fact that this page about Keyes' financial shenanigans includes an ad for his campaign, advising readers to "send a real conservative to the Senate." Let's see...he's crazier than a shithouse rat, he's prone to florid psychosexual delusions, he steals money and breaks laws, and he's completely without shame. Yep, he's a real conservative!