Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Comparing the Price of Liquids

This bright morning, Triple Pundit has offered up some evocative statistics about the price of liquids:

Upon comparison to a relatively simple commodity such as Coca Cola whose supply is seemningly limitless, the tremendous impact government subsidies have on one of our most coveted resources is suddenly obvious. When gasoline prices are compared to other liquid products, Snapple comes out costing 5 times that of gas, with nasal spray topping the list at a whopping 230 times the price of gasoline.
This information comes from the official site of the Virginia Petroleum, Convenience, and Grocery Association. In essence, it explains that gas is one of the cheapest fluids you can buy, and strongly implies that consumers should stop whining and pony up the dough cheerfully.

How the VPCGA comparison is supposed to make people feel better about gas prices, or the U.S. economy - or economics in general - is completely beyond me. Aside from confirming yet again that what we call "the free market" is actually a colossal, incoherent shell game, the comparison offers very few comforts indeed. One should remember, too, that persistently higher gas prices have occasionally been known to result in higher prices for consumer goods...such as Scope mouthwash (currently at $27.20 per gallon), Visine eyedrops ($995 per gallon), and Nasalcrom nasal spray ($2615.28 per gallon).

The VPCGA neglected to compare gasoline prices to the price of Jeff Gannon's semen. Just for the record, I estimate the latter at $256,000 per gallon, based on a statistically average ejaculation of 1.5 teaspoons, at $500 a pop. I have a suspicion that gasoline, if its actual production costs and externalities were factored into its price, might well cost a good deal more than that.

In related news, rest assured that President Bush feels your pain:
President Bush will propose measures to address the "root causes" of high energy prices, including possible construction of oil refineries on closed military bases....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

...consumers should stop whining and pony up the dough cheerfully.

The profits of BP and Exxon-Mobil are skyrocketing. Should we still be cheerful?

I want to hear how our president will address the "root causes"; I'll be listening closely tonight. What in the hell has he been doing for the last four-plus years to address "root causes"?