A Pricked Balloon

Planet Gore is amused by the Democratic Party's attempt to hold a "green" convention this year. This scheme is both funny and sad, because it obliges the DemocRATS to fret over lunatic minutiae like the biodegradability of balloons and the source material for baseball caps, instead of screaming "if it feels good, do it!" like those avatars of moderation and self-control in the cornucopian wing of the GOP.

To test whether celebratory balloons advertised as biodegradable actually will decompose, Ms. Robinson buried samples in a steaming compost heap. She hired an Official Carbon Adviser, who will measure the greenhouse-gas emissions of every placard, every plane trip, every appetizer prepared and every coffee cup tossed. The Democrats hope to pay penance for those emissions by investing in renewable energy projects.

Perhaps Ms. Robinson's most audacious goal is to reuse, recycle or compost at least 85% of all waste generated during the convention.

As you can see, Ms. Robinson is a humorless, officious busybody whose attempts to "calculate" the "cost" of her "options" will come to worse than nothing. It all boils down to the issue of trust: If we can't trust the LIEberals to ignore the impact of celebratory balloons on Denver's waste stream, how can we trust them to run the country?

In unrelated news, the 2008 Republican National Convention is billing itself as "a green event." Attempts are reportedly being made to cut down on the use of paper, to improve energy efficiency and to use conferencing software to reduce the need for travel. Planet Gore hasn't yet gotten around to mocking GOP convention planners for their self-aggrandizing eco-piety, but I'm sure a stern talking-to is in the works.

UPDATE: There's more on the GOP's plan here. It seems to be pretty similar to that of the Dems, right down to "an effort to measure the millions of tiny carbon footprints created by each of the 45,000 people expected to be either directly, or indirectly, involved in the convention." I guess this means they're having "problems" too, by PG's standards.