The Last Days of Man on Earth

As you all know, American universities are run and staffed by Marxists, hippies, beatniks, queers and Frenchmen. From Sarah Lawrence to MIT, higher education is a hotbed of Blame-America-Firstism, Deleuzian rhizomatics and quasi-pornographic ruminations on the Lesbian Body.

One American institution, however, has always served as a hard, rigid, jutting bulwark against the feminine softness and decadence of postrationalist academia: The University of Chicago.

During the interminable anticapitalist Bacchanalia of the Cold War era, UChi stood out like a gleaming, sanitary thermos in a yurt strewn with handmade wineskins. No matter how disgustingly carnivalesque other schools became, with their toga parties and their human-rights petitions and their pleas for responsible condom use, UChi wasn't afraid to "rock the boat" by providing serious, nicely dressed white men with a place to speak authoritatively about money.

And we're all better for it. If it hadn't been for these nonconformist visionaries -- and the countless political, industrial, media, and military leaders who worshipped them as gods -- Jimmy Carter might well have made Ram Dass chairman of the Fed, and today's currency values would be based on something totally intangible, like karma.

But now, according to Candace de Russy, everything may be about to change...forever!

[A]s Mal Kline demonstrates in a substantial paper, UChi is increasingly coming to resemble much of the rest of academe. By way of example, Kline notes that the campus is the current workplace of Steven D. Levitt, the self-described “rogue economist” who co-authored Freakonomics and who posits that legalized abortion leads to lower crime rates.

Milton Friedman would be spinning in his grave, if he weren't already wailing in Hell. How sad it is to see this Mecca of libertarianism become a mere sandbox for a bleary-eyed sentimentalist like Levitt, whose rigidly reductive opinions on human nature, self-congratulatory "heretical" views on global warming, hatred of political correctness, and unbounded admiration for Milton Friedman clearly mark him as a creature of the Radical Left.

Levitt's not even the worst of this new breed of UChi professors. There's one guy with an ethnic-sounding name who actually talks about "the economics of disadvantage," instead of defending capitalism against tie-dyed naysayers like Levitt. And there's at least one female professor whose behavior can only be described as...well, let's just say "immodest." A hardheaded, no-nonsense, unblushing approach to the moral failings of the poor is one thing, but matter-of-fact discussions about S-E-X are quite another.

Kline also dissects looks at Jane Dailey’s magnum opus, “Sex, Segregation, and the Sacred after Brown,” which he calls notable for its "sheer salaciousness."

OMG that sounds totly hawt! I'm gonna have to see if I can find a copy. Online porn has been seeming a bit tame to me lately, so this could be just the thing to put the lead back in my pencil.

Anyway, it's clear enough that the University of Chicago is falling prey to the same sort of hypersexualized Foucauldian anti-market dirigo-etatiste secular-relativist dogma that's made a national laughingstock of Yale and Stanford.

Unless, of course, this is yet another of those pulse-quickening danger narratives that conservatarians invent for motivational purposes, like Kuwaiti babies being tipped out of their incubators or balsawood planes carrying anthrax spores across the Atlantic. In which case, it seems fair to say that the whole thing's pretty fucking silly.