Us

After conducting extensive research into the cultural and moral worthlessness of nonwhite minorities, Pat Buchanan (shown above in a characteristic pose) has arrived at the unexpected conclusion that there’s a “dark side to diversity.”

A crucial piece in this puzzle fell into place when Buchanan noticed that Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui “was not an American at all, but an immigrant, an alien.” This caused him to wonder if other aliens had ever gone on murderous rampages. The stringent analytical methods of applied golliwogology (i.e., cribbing data from VDare.com) soon proved that they had. For example:

Juan Corona, who murdered 25 people in California to be ranked with the likes of Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy, was a Mexican.

You probably didn’t know that, because it’s been covered up “by a politically correct media, which seem to believe it is socially unhealthy for us Americans to see any correlation at all between mass migrations and mass murder.”

Which is pretty droll, coming from an apologist for US support of Central American death squads.

Anyway, I’m usually no more inclined to discuss Buchanan’s ravings than I am to drink from toilet bowls. But in this case, I was intrigued by Buchanan’s claim that Cho "decided to kill in cold blood dozens of us"; it’s such a perfect example of the conservative tendency to de-diversify victims of mass murder.

Academe being what it is, how could Cho’s victims not have included larval or actual feminists, socialists, gays, multiculturalists, race traitors, blame-America-firsters, and terrorist appeasers?

More to the point, how many were immigrants?

A fair number, judging from Wikipedia’s list of victims. Before they were killed, they were unwelcome aliens, sucking like vampires at the gardenia-white throat of Christian America. Now, thanks to Cho's value as a figurehead of ethnic menace, murdered immigrants - “from countries whose peoples have never fully assimilated in any Western country” - have magically become “us.” Buchanan’s ideology obliges him to feign – or to feel, for all I know – a kinship with them that he’d be incapable of feeling if they’d lived.

It's nice that these "invaders" found a way of earning a respectable place in Buchanan’s America.