The End is Nigh

The Guardian is shocked to learn that you can buy poison on the Internets:

Toxic chemicals such as strychnine, arsenic and cyanide are freely available for sale on the internet, leading toxicologists have warned….

To demonstrate how easy it is to buy poisons, the Guardian obtained antique flypaper infused with between 200 and 400 milligrams of arsenic from the web marketplace eBay. Arsenic-laced flypaper has been implicated in a previous murder case as a source of poison.

That “previous murder case,” the article goes on to say, involved Frederick Seddon, who poisoned one of his tenants back in 1911.

The Guardian rather glumly concedes that the arsenic it procured might not be sufficient to kill an adult, but warns that it could cause “neurological effects such as numbness and pins and needles.”

As terrifying as it is to imagine the Islamofascist hordes stocking up on antique flypaper, there’s a silver lining: We can potentially fight terrorists by outbidding them on eBay.

Of course, there’s always the danger that they’ll respond by going to the hardware store and buying some Brodifacoum, or one of the thousands of other compounds with which criminally minded underachievers can poison people.

In which case, it’s no exaggeration to say that we’re all doomed.