A Secret Plan

Be it known: George W. Bush and Dick Cheney (above) have a secret plan.

BURNS: He says our president don’t have a plan. I think he’s got one. But he’s not gonna tell everybody in the whole world....There is a plan. We’re not gonna tell you, John. We’re not gonna tell you what our plan is because you’ll just go out there and blow it. Period! By heavens, that’s just common sense.

Although he comes across as something of a petulant buffoon, Senator Burns is actually quite correct. Thanks to sources I'd prefer not to name, I've actually seen the plan. And while I can't give tell you every last detail, I can tell you that it involves the following top-secret components:

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal – Panama!

Remember, though...you didn't hear it from me.