Thursday, January 17, 2008

Can Your Heart Stand It?

Terrorist-coddling techno-hippie Bruce Schneier is trying to promote the pre-9/11 notion that constant abject fear is unhealthy:

[W]orrying about terrorism could be taking a toll on the hearts of millions of Americans. The evidence, published last week in the Archives of General Psychiatry, comes from researchers who began tracking the health of a representative sample of more than 2,700 Americans before September 2001. After the attacks of Sept. 11, the scientists monitored people’s fears of terrorism over the next several years and found that the most fearful people were three to five times more likely than the rest to receive diagnoses of new cardiovascular ailments.
Sounds bad, alright. But I know of some things that are even more unhealthy. Being decapitated by Islamic terrorists who then use your head, and the heads of your golden-haired children, as hand-puppets in an anti-Israel kids' show on Al-Jazeera, for instance. Or bleeding to death through your urethra, thanks to some new disease that's being cooked up right now in a filthy Iranian yogurt vat. Or turning the country over to Barack Hussein-Osama, a Black Muslim fanatic who took his oath of office on the Holy Bible so that he wouldn't be obliged to tell Americans the truth about anything, from his bone-deep hatred of Jesus Christ to his role in the transshipment of Saddam Hussein's WMD to Syria.

If there were only a .005 percent chance that one of these disasters could be imagined, we'd need to treat them all as 200-percent certain. However, I've just demonstrated that they're all imaginable, which means that the time for action may already have come and gone.

If I'm right, or even if I'm not, the one thing I can tell you for certain is that as the floodtide of Christian blood begins to rise around your ankles, you and your screaming, sobbing children will wish you could've lived long enough to die of cardiovascular disease. Verily, the living will envy the dead, and after they're dead, anyone still alive will envy them. That's how bad it is, and will be, until every Muslim on earth has either been killed, or forced to convert and then killed.

If you want to pretend that life is worth savoring, even when it's lived in the shadow of the Shamshir, good for you; you'll pay in suffering a thousandfold for every minute of fear-free existence you "enjoy." Speaking for myself, though, I hope fear weakens my heart; with any luck, it'll give out just as President Hussein-Osama opens the first mass-beheading facilities. I can guarantee that on that day, you people will wish you'd had my foresight.

(Photo via The Onion.)

1 comment:

¡El Gato Negro! said...'ll give out just as President Hussein-Osama opens the first mass-beheading facilities.

Thees just means more puppet shows.